- You step in pee A LOT!
Just yesterday I walked into my boys’ bathroom and stepped in a puddle. How was this possible, they were at school, and the baby was sleeping?
- Speaking of pee, you never have to search for a bathroom.
They’re boys. The world is their bathroom. My son even tried to pull down his pants to pee on the playground at his preschool. Oops!
- You say things like:
“I know it’s hard to be a ninja in sandals.”
“Please put your penis away!”
“Please stop farting on me.”
- You use the word penis about a bazillion times a day, as in: “Please stop playing penis guitar.”
This is a real thing, and my sons think it’s hilarious!
- You get pantsed when you are cooking dinner…like ALL the time! (Yes, I had to look up how to spell pantsed! Thanks, Urban Dictionary!)
Now, this is my husband’s fault, but I guess he’s just another boy in a grown man’s body.
- You see more full moons than a werewolf.
My older kids are constantly showing me their butts. Even my 3-year old likes to pull his pants down.
- You receive the best gifts…rocks, sticks, someone else’s trash.
I have a beautiful hand blown glass vase in my garden window, and you guessed it. It’s filled with these beautiful rocks. It rests right next to the large sticks that have been presented to me. Who needs flowers anyways?
- You have heard more farts and burps than you care to admit. Sometimes you swear that you live in a frat house.
They are little, but they can rip ’em. Seriously, my son was known as the “gas man” in the NICU when he was only a few days old. This has not changed since then!
- Sitting on the couch or floor is never safe.
I am always on guard, waiting for the inevitable body slams!
- You are the princess, or at least you wish this were true.
My boys do love their momma and tell me sweet things, all while farting on me and scaring me with bugs and lizards.